A man with no habits....good joke..?

A man with no habits....good joke..?


A man was waiting for a taxi. A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money. Suddenly an idea struck him.



He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you." "I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar. The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar. The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health."



The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good". The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver". The man smiled again.



He told the beggar, "I am going to the race course. Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone".

As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit."



Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you".



The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no Bad habits looks like.

Boyfriend to Husband...superb joke...?

Boyfriend to Husband...superb joke...?


Boyfriend to Husband

Is this the way it is ... ??

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0 and PremierLeague 7.2. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs andHouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried runningNagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

Signed:

Desperate Wife

(keep reading)



- - - - -Reply Separator- - - - -



Dear Desperate Wife,

Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and installTears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause damage, with Husband 1.0 defaulting to GrumpySilence 2.5, Happyhour 7.0 orBeer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "Snoring Loudly" wave files.

Be especially cautious about the HotChik virus – it’s programmed to corrupt Husband 1.0 utterly (as well as all future Husband upgrades).

DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriendprogram. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Keep-a-nice-body 10.1.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

No One available...hahah?

No One available...hahah?


A man was going up to bed, when his wife told him he’d left the light on in the garden shed – she could see it from the bedroom window. But he said that he hadn’t been in the shed that day. He looked himself, and there were people in the shed, stealing things.



He rang the police, but they told him that no-one was in his area, so no-one was available to catch the thieves. He said ok, hung up, counted to 30 and rang the police again.



"Hello. I just rang you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed? Well, you don’t have to worry about them now, I’ve just shot them all."



Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed.



One of the policemen said to this man: "I thought you said you’d shot them!"



He replied: "I thought you said there was no-one available!"

A LETTER FROM A SWEET MOTHER........

There are no words to express how much you mean to me,
A son like you, I thought could never be.
Because the day you were born, I just knew,
God sent me a blessing- and that was you.
For this I thank Him everyday,



You are the true definition of a son, in everyway.
It is because of you that my life has meaning,
Becoming a mom has shown me a new sense of being.
I want you to know that you were the purpose of my life,
Out of everything I did- it was you that I did right.
Always remember that I know how much you care,
I can tell by the relationship that we share.
For a son like you there could be no other,
And whether we are together or apart,
Please do not ever forget-
You will always have a piece of my heart.

I’ll Always Love you My SON

Good Philosopy about life.........

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.

Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

How to Invest in Stocks???????

Have you ever wondered what stock is or why shares of stock even exist?

Shares of Stock Represent Pieces of a Business

Imagine you wanted to start a retail store with members of your family. You decide you need $100,000 to get the business off the ground so you incorporate a new company. You divide the company into 1,000 pieces, or "shares" of stock. (They are called 

this because each piece of stock is entitled to a proportional share of the profit or loss). You price each new share of stock at $100. If you can sell all of the shares to your family members, you should have the $100,000 you need (1,000 shares x $100 contributed capital per share = $100,000 cash raised for the company).

If the store earned $50,000 after taxes during its first year, each share of stock would be entitled to 1/1,000th of the profit. You'd take $50,000 and divide it by 1,000, resulting in $50.00 earnings per share (or EPS as it is often called on Wall Street). You could call a meeting of the company's Board of Directors (these are the people the stockholders elected to watch over their interest since they couldn't run the business) and decide to use the money to pay cash dividends, repurchase stock, or expand the company by reinvesting in the retail store.

At some point, you may decide you want to sell your shares of the family retailer. If the company is large enough, you could trade on a stock exchange. That's what is happening when you buy or sell shares of a company through a stock broker. You are telling the market you are interested in acquiring or selling shares of a certain company and Wall Street matches you up with someone and takes fees and commissions for doing it. Alternatively, shares of stock could be issued to raise millions, or even billions, of dollars for expansion. When Sam Walton formed Wal-Mart Stores, Inc., the initial public offering that resulted from him selling newly created shares of stock in his company gave him enough cash to pay off most of his debt and fund Wal-Mart's nationwide expansion.

Shares of Stock on Wall Street Are No Different

It doesn't matter if you invest in shares of stock of multi-billion dollar conglomerates or tiny publicly traded retailers, when you buy share of stock, you are purchasing a tiny piece of a company. For instance, McDonald's Corporation has divided itself into 1,079,186,614 shares of common stock. Over the past twelve months, the company earned net income of $4,176,452,196.18 so management took that profit and divided it by the shares outstanding, resulting in earnings per share of $3.87. Of that, the company's Board of Directors voted to pay $2.20 out in the form of a cash dividend, leaving $1.67 per share for the company to devote to other causes such as expansion, debt reduction, share repurchases, or whatever else it decides is necessary to produce a good return for its owners, the stockholders.

The current stock price of McDonald's is $61.66 per share. The stock market is nothing more than an auction. Individual investors, just like you, are making decisions with their own money in a real-time auction. If someone wants to sell their shares of McDonald's and there are no buyers at $61.66, the price would have to continually fall until someone else stepped in and placed a buy order with their broker. If investors thought McDonald's was going to grow its profits faster than other companies, they would be willing to bid up the price of the stock (which is affected by supply and demand because there are only a fixed amount of shares in existence, in this case 1,079,186,614 shares). Likewise, if a large investor were to dump his or her shares on the market, the supply could temporarily overwhelm the demand and drive the stock price lower.

Keep Perspective on Stocks and Never Forget What They Represent

What happens if you believe McDonald's will generate far higher earnings per share of stock within five years, you buy 1,000 shares at $61.66 (for a total investment of $61,660), and the very next day, the stock falls to $30 per share? Should you be upset?

In this situation, you need to remember that the stock market is an auction. If you still believe the company will generate the earnings per share you calculated several years from now, to be upset that the stock price got cheaper would be, in the words of the legendary Benjamin Graham, to allow yourself to get upset by "other peoples' mistakes in judgment". The share price may move around wildly as millions of investors throughout the world make decisions about how much they are willing to pay, but the ultimate value of your shares will come from the profit the company generates.

If McDonald's did reach, say, $8 in per share earnings within five years, and kept the same dividend policy, your shares would collect $4.55 in cash dividends each year. That means you'd be earning 15.17% in cash dividend yield on the stock you purchased when it fell to $30 per share. This is why you see many successful investors completely unemotional about stock market crashes; they view the events as nothing more than the opportunity to buy a greater stake in businesses they like that generate lots of cash.

GOOD JOKES.....

Three mice are sitting around drinking and boasting about their strengths. The first mouse says "Mouse traps, Ha! I do pushups with the bar". The second mouse pulls a pill from his pocket, swallows it, and says with a grin "D-Con Rat Poison". The third mouse finishes his drink, slams his glass on the table and starts to leave. The first mouse says, "Where do you think you're going?”
"Time to go home and chase the cat”

After a lady’s car had leaked motor oil on her cement driveway, she bought a large bag of cat litter to soak it up. It worked so well, that she went back to the store to get another bag to finish the job. The clerk remembered her. Looking thoughtfully at her purchase, he said, “Lady, if that were my cat, I’d put him outside!”
A college student challenged a senior citizen, saying it was impossible for their generation to understand his. “You grew up in a different world,” the student said. “Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, nuclear energy, computers…”
Taking advantage of a pause in the student’s litany, the geezer said, “You’re right. We didn’t have those things when we were young; so we invented them! What are you doing for the next generation??”
The economy is so bad that:The Mafia is laying off judges
The best answer to the question asked in an interview, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years' time?" . . . "In the mirror as always . . "

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. "It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor. As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air. "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes." "Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation. After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?"

Fathers are special people,

Fathers are special people,

Who we often take for granted.

We do not give them high praises

Or enough credit.

For all he has done

To provide for his family.

He has done what a man suppose to.

He gives himself unselfishly.

Fathers make many sacrifices,

Just like mothers do,

But do we once tell our fathers,

Father, thank you.

He struggles each day,

To be a hero in his family's eyes.

He is the protector and the provider.

In him is where the strength lies.

Fathers aren't the kind of people,

Who shows their emotions,

But when you look inside his heart,

You know his true notions.

Father's are special people,

In many different ways.

He is what makes a family whole.

We need that now these days.

Fathers are like our heavenly father,

Who sits high above.

We can always depend on him,

To give his undying love.

Secret of Success Get the mind-set of an Ant

All of us tend to look up to big people for lessons on how to get better. We are keen to learn the secrets of their success. But we forget that sometimes the biggest lessons in life come from the smallest folks around us. Now that's a good lesson to remember!

 

Take ants for instance. Would you believe those small creatures can teach us how to live a better life? Jim Rohn - the great motivational guru - developed what he called the 'Ants Philosophy'.

 

He identified four key lessons from the behaviour of ants that can help us lead better lives. Jim Rohn is no more - but his messages continue to inspire. Here then, are the four lessons from Rohn's 'Ants Philosophy'.

 

1. Ants never quit. Have you noticed how ants always look for a way around an obstacle? Put your finger in an ant's path and it will try and go around it, or over it. It will keep looking for a way out. It won't just stand there and stare. It won't give up and go back.

 

We should all learn to be like that. There will always be obstacles in our lives. The challenge is to keep trying, keep looking for alternative routes to get to our goals. Winston Churchill probably paraphrased the ant's mindset when he offered this priceless advice: 'Never give up. Never, never give up!'

 

2. Ants think winter all summer. Remember the old story of the ant and the grasshopper? In the middle of summer, the ant was busy gathering food for the winter ahead - while the grasshopper was out having a good time. Ants know that summer - the good times - won't last forever. Winters will come. That's a good lesson to remember. When the going is good, don't be so arrogant as to believe that a crisis or a setback cannot happen to you. Be good to other people. Save for a rainy day. Look ahead. And remember, good times may not last, but good people do.

 

3. Ants think summer all winter. As they suffer through the unbearable cold of the winter, ants keep reminding themselves that it won't last forever, and that summer will soon be here. And with the first rays of the summer sun, the ants come out - ready to work, ready to play. When we are down and seemingly out, when we go through what looks like a never-ending crisis, it's good to remind ourselves that this too shall pass. Good times will come. It's important to retain a positive attitude, an attitude that says things will get better. As the old saying goes, tough times don't last. Tough people do.

 

4. Ants do all they possibly can. How much food does an ant gather in summer? All that it possibly can! Now that's a great work ethic to have. Do all you can! One ant doesn't worry about how much food another ant is collecting. It does not sit back and wonder why it should have to work so hard. Nor does it complain about the poor pay! Ants just do their bit. They gather all the food they can. Success and happiness are usually the result of giving 100% - doing all you possibly can. If you look around you, you'll find that successful people are those who just do all they possibly can.

 

Follow the four simple steps of Jim Rohn's 'Ant Philosophy' - and you'll see the difference. Don't quit. Look ahead. Stay positive. And do all you can.

 

And there's just one more lesson to learn from ants. Did you know that an ant can carry objects up to 20 times their own weight? Maybe we are like that too. We can carry burdens on our shoulders and manage workloads that are far, far heavier than we'd imagine. Next time something's bothering you and weighing you down, and you feel you just can't carry on, don't fret. Think of the little ant. And remember, you too can carry a lot more on your shoulders!

S-I-M-P-L-E Organizing Strategies

Select the area you will organize by deciding which space in your home or office causes you the most stress. This is the area you should attack first. Select one space at a time. Breaking goals down makes them easier to accomplish.

I - IMPLEMENT A SORTING STRATEGY

After you select the area, you will need to implement a sorting strategy. Use small multi-colored stickers to sort the items in the area you have selected. Designate one color for the items you are keeping, one for those items you are not sure about, and one for those items you will purge. Do not move the items--just sort.

M - MOVE OBJECTS TO SPECIFIED AREAS

Now that you have sorted all your items, it is time to move them. This step of the SIMPLE process takes the longest. If you attack it in three sections, it is easier. First, move all your purging items to bags/boxes to either throw away OR to donate to charity. Act today. Second, go through the items you are not sure about. Purge as much as possible from this group also. If you decide to keep it, then move it to the keeper group. Do not keep guilt-related family/friend items if you don't use them. The last step is to move all the items you are keeping to assigned spaces. The key to organizational maintenance is everything must have a place. Some of these items will not have assigned spaces yet. Time to go to the next step!

P - PICK AND PLAN THE SPACE

Spaces should be designed based on the needs of the individuals using them. Based on the specific space (garage, kitchen, home office, closets, etc.), there are a number of techniques you should use.

L - LOCATE AND SELECT ORGANIZING CONTAINERS

Containerizing is crucial to the organizing process. Containers come in all shapes and sizes. They help you group and separate your belongings with ease. Retrieval and cleanup are much easier when you use containers. They also limit the amount you can accumulate.

E - EXCAVATE CONTINUOUSLY

Just like archaeologists, you must excavate continuously to unearth your treasures. Time will bury your belongings if you don't get a little dirty at least once a week and throw away all unused items in your home and/or office.

spare Few Mins And Read It!

spare Few Mins And Read It!

Once upon a time there was an island where all the
feelings lived; happiness, sadness, knowledge, and all
the others, including love.

One day it was announced to all of the feelings that
the island was going to sink to the bottom of the
ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to
leave.

Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to
preserve the island paradise until the last possible
moment.

When the island was almost totally under love decided
it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to
ask for help. Just then Richness was passing by in a
grand boat. Love asked, 'Richness, Can I come with you
on your boat?' Richness answered, ' I'm sorry, but
there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there
would be no room for you anywhere.'

Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was
passing in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out,
'Vanity, help me please.' 'I can't help you', Vanity
said, 'You are all wet and will damage my beautiful
boat.'

Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, '
Sadness, please let me go with you.' Sadness answered,
'Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone now.'

Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, ' Happiness,
please take me with you.' But Happiness was so overjoyed
that he didn't hear Love calling to him.

Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, 'Come
Love, I will take you with me.' It was an elder.
Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to
ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land the elder
went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder.

Love then found Knowledge and asked, 'Who was it that
helped me?' 'It was Time', Knowledge answered. 'But
why did Time help me when no one else would?', Love
asked. Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity,
answered, 'Because only Time is capable of understanding how
great Love is.'

The Facts of Life:

1. At least 5 people in this world, love you so much
they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you, in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you, is
because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you, can bring happiness to anyone,
even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they
go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. Without you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special and unique, in your own way.

9. Someone that you don't know even exists, loves you.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something
good comes from it.

11. When you think the world has turned it's back on you,
take a look, you most likely turned your back on the world.

12. When you think you have no chance at getting what
you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in
yourself, you probably sooner or later will get it.

13. Always remember complements you received, forget
about the rude remarks.

14. Always tell someone how you feel about them, you
will feel much better when they know.

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let
them know that they are great.

REDUCE YOUR WEIGHT....

A fat guy - goes to a popular GYM, sees an ad for a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg.

They lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute.

He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out steps a beautiful girl, with a sign saying "If you catch me, I'm yours."

He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed. Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door.

In comes the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him. Sure enough, he lost exactly 5 kg.

He's back on the street and starts to think. "Jesus, I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time..."
So he races back to the gym and says, "I want to lose 20 more kg."
"No problem," says the manager.

Again he is led to the large gym. This time he's standing by the door when it opens. Out comes a Gorilla with a sign.
"If I catch you, you're mine."

WHY GOD MADE FRIENDS

WHY GOD MADE FRIENDS

God made the world with a heartful of love,
Then He looked down from Heaven above,
And saw that we all need a helping hand,
Someone to share with, who’ll understand.
He made special people to see us through
The glad times and the sad times, too;
A person on whom we can always depend,
Someone we can call a friend.
God made friends so we’ll carry a part
Of His perfect love in all our hearts
—Jill Wolf

Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as you can.
—John Wesley

Are you Proud to be an Indian........

An American named Mark visited india. On his return to America, his Indian friend who was settled in America, enquired with him about India.

Here is how the conversation of Indian and American goes on...

Indian: Mark, how did u find my country?
American: I found India to be a great country with solid ancient history and immensely rich culture and heritage.

Indian: How did you find Indians?
American: Indians? who indians? I didn't find or meet a single indian.

Indian: You didn't find any Indian in India? What non-sense? Who else could u meet in india then?
American: Well! In Kashmir I met a kashmiri. In Punjab a Punjabi. A Bihari in Bihar. Marathi manoos in Mumbai. Tamilian, Malayali, Telugu and Kannadigas in South India. I even saw people agitating and fighting for separate regions on the basis of their language and culture.

Indian friend was embarrased but was patiently listening...

Mark (American) continued, "In some places, I met Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Jains, Buddhists and few others; but not a single Indian did i meet".



Friends, what's your reaction after reading this?

Do you still think that you are a Kashmiri, Bihari, Telugu or Marathi? Indeed we may be but we are nothing until we believe and understand that we are Indians.

Remember, we are Indians first. Call yourself an "Indian".

Be proud of being an Indian!

A brilliant interview......Must Read!!!!

This is a brilliant interview by a Job Hopper ...

Some, rather most organizations reject his CV today because he has changed jobs frequently (10 in 14 years). A ˜job hopper™ (referred here as Mr. JH), does not mind it. well he does not need to mind it at all. Having worked full-time with 10 employer companies in just 14 years gives Mr. JH the relaxing edge that most of the ˜company loyal™ employees are struggling for today. Today, Mr. JH too is laid off like some other 14-15 year experienced guys “ the difference being the latter have just worked in 2-3 organizations in the same number of years. Here are the excerpts of an interview with Mr. JH:
Q: Why have you changed 10 jobs in 14 years?
A: To get financially sound and stable before getting laid off the second time.
Q: So you knew you would be laid off in the year 2009?
A: Well I was laid off first in the year 2002 due to the first global economic slowdown. I had not got a full-time job before January 2003 when the economy started looking up; so I had struggled for almost a year without job and with compromises.
Q: Which number of job was that?
A: That was my third job.
Q: So from Jan 2003 to Jan 2009, in 6 years, you have changed 8 jobs to make the count as 10 jobs in 14 years?
A: I had no other option. In my first 8 years of professional life, I had worked only for 2 organizations thinking that jobs are deserved after lot of hard work and one should stay with an employer company to justify the saying ˜employer loyalty™. But I was an idiot.
Q: Why do you say so?
A: My salary in the first 8 years went up only marginally. I could not save enough and also, I had thought that I had a ˜permanent™ job, so I need not worry about ˜what will I do if I lose my job™. I could never imagine losing a job because of economic slowdown and not because of my performance. That was January 2002.
Q: Can you brief on what happened between January 2003 and 2009.
A: Well, I had learnt my lessons of being ˜company loyal™ and not ˜money earning and saving loyal™. But then you can save enough only when you earn enough. So I shifted my loyalty towards money making and saving “ I changed 8 jobs in 6 years assuring all my interviewers about my stability.
Q: So you lied to your interviewers; you had already planned to change the job for which you were being interviewed on a particular day?
A: Yes, you can change jobs only when the market is up and companies are hiring. You tell me “ can I get a job now because of the slowdown? No. So one should change jobs for higher salaries only when the market is up because that is the only time when companies hire and can afford the expected salaries.
Q: What have you gained by doing such things?
A: That's the question I was waiting for. In Jan 2003, I had a fixed salary (without variables) of say Rs. X p.a. In January 2009, my salary was 8X. So assuming my salary was Rs.3 lakh p.a. in Jan 2003, my last drawn salary in Jan 2009 was Rs.24 lakh p.a. (without variable). I never bothered about variable as I had no intention to stay for 1 year and go through the appraisal process to wait for the company to give me a hike.
Q: So you decided on your own hike?
A: Yes, in 2003, I could see the slowdown coming again in future like it had happened in 2001-02. Though I was not sure by when the next slowdown would come, I was pretty sure I wanted a ˜debt-free™ life before being laid off again. So I planned my hike targets on a yearly basis without waiting for the year to complete.
Q: So are you debt-free now?
A: Yes, I earned so much by virtue of job changes for money and spent so little that today I have a loan free 2 BR flat (1200 sq.. feet) plus a loan free big car without bothering about any EMIs. I am laid off too but I do not complain at all. If I have laid off companies for money, it is OK if a company lays me off because of lack of money.
Q: Who is complaining?
A: All those guys who are not getting a job to pay their EMIs off are complaining. They had made fun of me saying I am a job hopper and do not have any company loyalty. Now I ask them what they gained by their company loyalty; they too are laid off like me and pass comments to me “ why will you bother about us, you are already debt-free. They were still in the bracket of 12-14 lakh p.a. when they were laid off.
Q: What is your advice to professionals?
A: Like Narayan Murthy had said “ love your job and not your company because you never know when your company will stop loving you. In the same lines, love yourself and your family needs more than the company's needs. Companies can keep coming and going; family will always remain the same. Make money for yourself first and simultaneously make money for the company, not the other way around.
Q: What is your biggest pain point with companies?
A: When a company does well, its CEO will address the entire company saying, ˜well done guys, it is YOUR company, keep up the hard work, I am with you. But when the slowdown happens and the company does not do so well, the same CEO will say, It is MY company and to save the company, I have to take tough decisions including asking people to go. So think about your financial stability first; when you get laid off, your kids will complain to you and not your boss.

Who Is Rich And Who Is Poor...Good One

Who Is Rich And Who Is Poor

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:

• "I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
• We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.
• We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
• Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
• We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.
• We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
• We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
• We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

Appreciate every single thing you have!

17 Rules Between Men and Women

17 Rules Between Men and Women

1. The Female always makes THE RULES.

2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.

3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some or all of THE RULES.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The Female can change her mind at any given time..

9. The Male must never change his mind without the express, written consent of The Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.

14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.

15. If the Male doesn’t abide by THE RULES, it is because he can’t take the heat, lacks ackbone, and is a wimp.

16. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.

17. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5
GET THE RIGHT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE...

DOCTOR... funny

DOCTOR...

 

Let me tell you about A doctor. He's very good! If you tell him you want a second opinion, He'll go out and come in again.
~~~~~
He treated one woman for yellow jaundice for three years Before he realized she was Chinese.
~~~~~
Another time, he gave a patient six months to live. At the end of the six months, the patient hadn't paid his bill, So, the doctor gave him another six months.
~~~~~
While he was talking to me, his nurse came in and said, "Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible." The doctor said, "Tell him I can't see him."
~~~~~
Another time, a man came running in the office and yelled, "Doctor, doctor! - my son just swallowed a roll of film!" The doctor calmly replied, "Let's just wait and see what develops."
~~~~~
One patient came in and said, "Doctor, I have a serious memory problem." The doctor asked, "When did it start?" The man replied, "When did what start?"
~~~~~
I remember one time I told the doctor I had a ringing in my ears. His advice: "Don't answer it."
~~~~~
The doctor sure has his share of nut cases. One said to him, "Doctor, I think I'm a bell." The doctor gave him some pills and said, "Here, take these - If they don't work, give me a ring."
~~~~~
Another guy told the doctor that he thought he was a deck of cards. The doctor simply said, "Go sit over there. I'll deal with you later."
~~~~~
When I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places, He told me to stop going to those places.
~~~~~
You know, doctors can be so frustrating. You wait a month and a half for an appointment, Then he says, "I wish you had come to me sooner."

 

SARDAR Revealed..................

Interviewer:
what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

Manager asked sardar at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O- X.


After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?


One tourist from U.S.A. asked Sardar:
Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!


Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.


When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver
adjusted the mirror. Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my
wife? Sit behind. I will drive.


Interviewer: just imagine youare on the3rd floor, it caught fire
and how will you escape?
Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination! !!

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.


Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new


Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Sardar: Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!


Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White


Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.


Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok.. Ombay. Ombay"


Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"
Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...! !!


Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE

When things go wrong......

When things go wrong ... When things go wrong as they sometimes will; When the road you're trudging seems all uphill; When the funds are low, and the debts are high And you want to smile, but have to sigh; When care is pressing you down a bit- Rest if you must, but do not quit. Success is failure turned inside out; The silver tint of the clouds of doubt; And you can never tell how close you are It may be near when it seems so far; So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit- It's when things go wrong that you must not quit. "Don't Quit," . __,_._,___

Dead Donkey......Good one...

Young Chuck, moved to Texas and bought a Donkey from a farmer for $100.00. 

The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.' 

Chuck replied, 

'Well, then just give me my money back.' 

The farmer said, 

'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.' 

Chuck said, 

'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.' 

The farmer asked, 

'What ya gonna do with him? 

Chuck said, 

'I'm going to raffle him off.' 

The farmer said, 

'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!' 

Chuck said, 

'Sure I can Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.' 

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?' 

Chuck said, 

'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00.' 

The farmer said, 

'Didn't anyone complain?' 

Chuck said, 

'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.' 

Chuck now works for the government. 

Don't Copy if you can't PASTE ...........hahahaha

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his Audience. He Said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"

The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"

Laughter and Applause!!!
A week later, a top manager trained by the Motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke At home. He was a bit foggy after a drink. He said loudly to His wife who was preparing dinner, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my Wife!"

The wife went; "ahhhh!" with shock and rage.

Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second Half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "...and I can't remember who she was!"

By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water. 

Moral of the story... 
Don't Copy if you can't PASTE ...........hahahaha

 

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features:
20 sims
1 yr battery back up
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TV
OVEN
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and the new special addition 24G in which u can meet the person & talk directly!

If you are on Facebook, I am sure you will find this hilarious...must read

If you are on Facebook, I am sure you will find this hilarious 


The 76-year-old woman walked down the hallway of Clearview Addictions Clinic, searching for the right department. She passed signs for the "Heroin Addiction Department (HAD)," the "Smoking Addiction Department (SAD)" and the "Bingo Addiction Department (BAD)." Then she spotted the department she was looking for: "Facebook Addiction Department (FAD)."

It was the busiest department in the clinic, with about three dozen people filling the waiting room, most of them staring blankly into their Blackberries and iPhones. A middle-aged man with unkempt hair was pacing the room, muttering,"I need to milk my cows. I need to milk my cows."

A twenty-something man was prone on the floor, his face buried in his hands, while a curly-haired woman comforted him.

"Don't worry. It'll be all right."

"I just don't understand it. I thought my update was LOL-worthy, but none of my friends even clicked the 'like' button."

"How long has it been?"

"Almost five minutes. That's like five months in the real world."

The 76-year-old woman waited until her name was called, then followed the receptionist into the office of Alfred Zulu, Facebook Addiction Counselor.

"Please have a seat, Edna," he said with a warm smile. "And tell me how it all started."

"Well, it's all my grandson's fault. He sent me an invitation to join Facebook. I had never heard of Facebook before, but I thought it was something for me, because I usually have my face in a book."

"How soon were you hooked?"

"Faster than you can say 'create a profile.' I found myself on Facebook at least eight times each day -- and more times at night. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night to check it, just in case there was an update from one of my new friends in India . My husband didn't like that. He said that friendship is a precious thing and should never be outsourced."

"What do you like most about Facebook?"

"It makes me feel like I have a life. In the real world, I have only five or six friends, but on Facebook, I have 674. I'm even friends with Juan Carlos Montoya."

"Who's he?"

"I don't know, but he's got 4,000 friends, so he must be famous."

"Facebook has helped you make some connections, I see."

"Oh yes. I've even connected with some of the gals from high school -- I still call them 'gals.' I hadn't heard from some of them in ages, so it was exciting to look at their profiles and figure out who's retired, who's still working, and who's had some work done. I love browsing their photos and reading their updates. I know where they've been on vacation, which movies they've watched, and whether they hang their toilet paper over or under. I've also been playing a game with some of them."

"Let me guess. Farmville?"

"No, Mafia Wars. I'm a Hitman. No one messes with Edna."

"Wouldn't you rather meet some of your friends in person?"

"No, not really. It's so much easier on Facebook. We don't need to gussy ourselves up. We don't need to take baths or wear perfume or use mouthwash. That's the best thing about Facebook -- you can't smell anyone. Everyone is attractive, because everyone has picked a good profile pic. One of the gals is using a profile pic that was taken, I'm pretty certain, during the Eisenhower Administration. "

"What pic are you using?"

"Well, I spent five hours searching for a profile pic, but couldn't find one I really liked. So I decided to visit the local beauty salon."

"To make yourself look prettier?"

"No, to take a pic of one of the young ladies there. That's what I'm using."

"Didn't your friends notice that you look different?"

"Some of them did, but I just told them I've been doing lots of yoga."

"When did you realize that your Facebooking might be a problem?"

"I realized it last Sunday night, when I was on Facebook and saw a message on my wall from my husband: 'I moved out of the house five days ago. Just thought you should know.'"

"What did you do?"

"What else? I unfriended him of course!"

GREAT WORDS..........

"The world suffers a lot. 
Not because of the violence of bad people,
But because of the silence of good people!" 

"I am thankful to all those who said NO to me
Its Because of them I did it myself.."

"If friendship is your weakest point 
then you are the strongest person in 
the world"

"Laughing Faces Do Not Mean That There Is Absence Of Sorrow!
But It Means That They Have 
The Ability To Deal With It". 

"Opportunities Are Like Sunrises, 
If You Wait Too Long You Can Miss Them". 

"Never Play With The Feelings Of Others Because You May Win The Game But 
The Risk Is That You Will 
Surely Loose The Person For Life Time". 

"When You Are In The Light, 
Everything Follows You,
But When You Enter Into The Dark, 
Even Your Own Shadow Doesnt Follow You." 

"Coin Always Makes Sound 
But The Currency Notes Are Always Silent.
So When Your Value Increases 
Keep Yourself Calm Silent" 

"It Is Very Easy To Defeat Someone,
But It Is Very Hard To Win Someone"